Because Bruce kicked Chucks ass

It is rumored that the fight you are about to watch between Bruce and Chuck was an actual fight that took place during filming. Hell, we could pretty much end this list right here if that is true. Bruce took that man’s hair right off his chest! The so called great Chuck Norris roundhouse kick must have been on vacation that day, because Bruce slapped him around like a pimp does a whore when she comes up a quarter short and ten seconds late. Enjoy…
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Bruce trained Chuck

Chuck Norris was not Chuck Norris until he met Bruce Lee. Bruce forged Chuck into the bad ass motorcycle riding terrorist killing Delta Force guy that we all remember from early eighties B-movies. If Bruce was on those very same motorcycles his kill count would have been zero because everyone would have killed themselves out of fear before he got there.

Infomercials motherfucker!

Bruce never did them. His movies were always quality. It could be argued that Bruce never got old enough to fall so low and he would have if he had needed the money. To those who would argue that, Bruce’s fist just came back from the grave and smacked you so fast and so hard that you don’t even know it happened. Later on your head will be sore.

Bruce was to fast for film

Chuck is not quite so quick. Filmmakers used to have to slow down the reels to catch Bruce’s lightening so that audiences would see what the fuck he was doing. He once moved so fast the theory of relativity damn near broke off the science books. Luckily it was only bent all to hell and could be pounded out by the Mexicans…

Chuck Played Bad asses, Bruce played Bruce

Chuck Norris always played some sort of crazy bad ass dude in all of his movies. Bruce Lee played Bruce Lee. The storyline didn’t matter. When Bruce Lee showed up, you just knew he was going to beat the asses of everyone else in the film. There need be no back story. It doesn’t matter what happened before. He was there, asses were kicked, end of story.

Legacies

Bruce had a legacy. His name was remembered long after he died and will be for many years to come. His son nearly followed in his footsteps except he was killed by the crazy ass mysterious death before he could go all out ass kicker. Chuck has the Bowflex and some stale internet jokes that ceased to be cool in the 1800’s, literally thousands of kilometers before the internet was even born.

Bruce is the final boss of the universe

No one has ever beaten the universe because anyone that has ever played through to the end will find that Bruce is the final boss, and unbeatable due to a glitch in the game. Even cheat codes and hacks are useless against his might. There is a save point right outside so you can try as much as you like. Some Jesus fellow does it for you, it’s like his whole purpose in the universe…

If you had to do hand to hand combat with zombies and you could pick one dude to get your back…

This is where people start to show their real colors. Chuck? Hell no. Anyone in their right mind would choose Bruce Lee. “But Bruce is dead…” you may say, “Wouldn’t he be a zombie to?” While that may be true, I would still take zombie Bruce over alive Chuck 9 times out of 8 and twice more on Sundays. Zombies come out on Sundays. Hence ‘church’…

Since it doesn’t get any better than promising 9 and jewing you with 8, I’ll leave you with that.